You and Me
by The Five Factions46
Summary: After being permanently paralyzed due to bullet wounds, Tris Prior must adapt to her new life, and new society she is now living in. But change isn't so bad. Hopefully her and Tobias could start a new life together, desperately trying to forget their horrid pasts. But what has happened can never be forgotten or undid. Alternate ending to Allegiant, by Veronica Roth.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! So yeah, this is my first fanfic. It takes place towards the end of Allegiant by Veronica Roth (amazing book by the way. I cried. A lot) Most of the chapters will be told from Tris POV. So yeah, here's the first chapter, Enjoy! (The first few paragraphs are actual excerpts from the book) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**Chapter 1: Not Done Yet **

_I feel aware of everything at once, the pressure of his mouth and the taste of our kiss and the texture of his skin and the orange light glowing against my closed eyelids and the smell of green things, growing things, in the air. When I pull away, and he opens his eyes, I see everything about them; the dart of light blue in his left eye, the dark blue that makes me feel like I am safe inside it, like I am dreaming. _

"_I love you" I say. _

"_I love you, too," he says. "I'll see you soon." _

_I love my brother. I love him, and he is quaking with terror at the thought of death. I love him and all I can think, all I can hear in my mind, are the words I said to him a few days ago: I would never deliver you to your execution. _

"_Caleb," I say. "Give me the backpack." _

_I also know, I just know, that I can survive this. I step into vestibule. _

"_I didn't come here to steal anything David." I twist and lunge toward the device. The gun goes off and pain races through my body. I don't even know where the bullet hit me. I can still here Caleb repeating the code to Matthew. With a quaking hand I type in the numbers on the keypad. The gun goes off again. More pain, and black edges on my vision, but I hear Caleb's voice speaking again. The green button. So much pain. I start to fall, and slam my hand into the keypad on the way down. I hear a beep and a churning sound. _

_My mother kneels down next to me and touches a cool hand to my cheek. "Am I done yet?" "Yes" she says her eyes bright with tears. "My dear child, you've done so well." I choke on a sob as the image of Tobias comes into my mind, of how dark and still his eyes were, how strong and warm his hand was, when we first stood face to face. _

_Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here? _

_I want to be. _

_I can. _

_I believe it. _

_Hush, dear child. Slip into my warmth. Slip into a world where there is no harm. _The lullaby my mother used to sing to me as a child echoes through my head. Suddenly, I am five years old again, my head in her lap as her nimble fingers run through my blonde hair. I must be really going now. I'm having flashbacks. But I don't want to go. Even if I can be forgiven, I don't want to. Please let me stay. Please.

I hear a gunshot, and a scream that sends a chill down my spine and feet shuffling. "Beatrice!" a voice yells. Caleb. I crane my neck to try and look at him, but I'm too weak. I see knees fall beside me. Firm hands grab my shoulders and turn me over sending excruciating pain into every inch of my body. My vision is blurred and black at the edges, but through the haze I can make out a face. "Oh my god" Caleb whimpers. "Caleb," I say hoarsely, "I'm okay." But I'm aware that I'm not. I'm lying in a pool of blood which is now spreading to my fingertips. I feel so dizzy that I can barely hear him, even though he is right in front of me. "Beatrice, listen to me" he says sharply. "I have to get you to a hospital, which means I have to lift you. And it's going to hurt you a lot, but it's the only way." I swallow, and nod, my fingers curling into my palm, dragging blood with it. "On three, okay? One..two..three.." I feel myself being lifted off the floor. Pain courses quickly through my body, making my whole vision go black for a few seconds. I clench my teeth to stop the scream that's making its way out of my throat. I squeeze my eyes shut. _I don't want to die. _

The pain remains constant as Caleb carries me through the hallways. He's trying to be as gentle as he can, but every flinch of movement sends a wave of pain through my body, making me wince, and occasionally yelp. He looks down at me. Tears are welled up in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Beatrice. I'm so sorry. I know it hurts, I know…" I don't know whether he's apologizing to me for the amount of pain I'm in or whether he let me run into the weapons lab in the first place. Maybe it's for everything. Everything he's ever done to hurt me. He's apologizing because he knows it's the last time he will probably see me. His last words to me. My stomach churns.

White ceiling tiles with holes spotted in them. The smell of chemicals wafting into my nostrils. We are at the hospital. The tiles go by quickly, and I try to focus on them rather than the pain; or the fact that I'm dying. "Help!" Caleb hollers. I hear wheels screeching on the floor, and feel Caleb lowering me onto something soft. A cot. A nurse's face appears above me. She looks at me stupidly, like she doesn't know who I am, even though she's the same nurse who put the stiches on my forehead just a few weeks ago. Then I remember. The memory serum. She is disoriented. A wave of panic sweeps over me. I know that the serum targets memories; not facts; but I can't help worrying that she might not have a clue what she's doing. She has to remove three bullets from my body; my life is in her hands. No, my life is in my own hands. And those hands are very brittle; breaking apart by the second.

The tiles go by quicker now, and I count them. _One, two, three… _my eyelids feel heavy. _Four… _ My eyes snap open. Four. Tobias. I can't leave him. I'm the only person left that he loves. The only person who has shown him love after sixteen years of neglect and abuse and pain. I remember our first kiss in the chasm. How warm and soft his lips felt against mine. The passion and determination that we shared; and are still sharing. I love Tobias, he loves me. I am his, and he is mine, and that's the way it's been all along. I know I just have to fight through this for him. I can't leave him. _I just can't. _

I am rushed into a room; bright light blinds me for a second. Caleb is rushing alongside me, tears rolling down his face, as he tells me that it's okay, I'm okay over and over to comfort me. But it's not comforting. It terrifies me. I feel a sharp pain in my neck to see the nurse inserting a needle into it. She walks away, and Caleb drops to my side, and holds my hand in his. I squeeze back lightly. I don't want him to know how deeply terrified I am. The nurse comes back carrying a small knife. I swallow hard. She picks up my left arm and moves the blade towards it, when Caleb reaches for her hand to stop. "At least wait for the pain medication to kick in. That way she won't feel anything." The nurse shakes her head. "We don't have time." Caleb is now pleading with the nurse. "She's in enough pain already. Just look at her! She's sweating like an animal! Can't you just- "No" the nurse interrupts him in a harsh voice. "She's _dying." _Caleb's face is sickly white, his face still wet with tears. He looks down at me. I just give a small nod. He holds my hand tighter. "Okay, sweetie, this is going to hurt," the nurse tells me. "But I'm going to try to do this as quickly as I can. Okay?" I nod, and grit my teeth preparing for the pain. "Ready? On three. One, two, three."

I feel the knife as it digs through the wound in my arm. My grip on Caleb's hand tightens, and a scream dies in my throat. Instead I let out a yelp, high pitched filled with agony. I watch blood pour down my arm, dripping onto the bed sheets staining them a dark red. "Got the first one" the nurse says holding up the bullet, which is coated with my blood. She drops it into a metal tray beside her. "The last two are deep into your lower abdomen. It's going to hurt even more." I let out a groan. I could barely handle the first one. But I set my jaw and nod anyway. The nurse doesn't even give me a warning this time. I can feel the knife as it buries itself going deeper and deeper into my lower abdomen. The pain is much stronger now. I let out a scream of terror and pain and frustration and exhaustion together, so loud my ears are ringing. I don't realize how tight I'm squeezing Caleb's hand until I hear him yelp. "Sorry" I say, weakly. I want this to be over. Why can't this be over?

The pain decreases, and I look up to see the nurse dropping the second bullet into the tray. I gasp, and loosen my grip on Caleb's hand. "Last one, I promise," the nurse tells me. I can't do it. I can't. There's only so much pain a person can handle until they die, and I'm close to my breaking point. I close my eyes, hot tears spilling out of them. I hear a voice in my head. _Be brave. _That voice belongs to Tobias. Telling me to be brave before I went through my first simulation. Even though this is not a simulation, I have to have the same bravery I had then. I have to be brave; for him. For Tobias. My heart. My savior.

My love.

This time, when I feel the knife moving inside me, I scream Tobias's name. I scream his name over and over until my throat hurts hoping that if I do I could ignore the blinding pain I'm going through right now and focus on the main reason I have to survive this. I never want to leave him. I know that I can survive this. I can do it; I can. Caleb gives me a confused look, probably wondering why I'm yelling Tobias's name. Finally the pain has subsided into a dull ache. Sore from the aftermath, but not nearly as bad as before. The nurse smiles at me. "You're all done." She says. She grabs a wet cloth and dabs it over my wounds, cleaning them out. It stings, but I barely feel it. "I hate to tell you this, but you need surgery. Most of the damage was done to the inside of your body." She inserts another needle this time into my lower arm. "This will go into effect in about five minutes. I'll come back to take you into the operating room in a little bit." She removes her gloves, which are now blood stained and heads out.

The pain medicine is starting to kick in, turning everything into a dull throb. Caleb rushes over to the sink and scrubs his hands, which are sticky with my blood. When he turns back to me, his clothes are stained as well. Most of the fabric has turned to chrome red. He comes towards me carrying a white cloth. He kneels down next to me, and gently presses it to my forehead, mopping all the sweat that has collected there, as well as most of my hair. He smiles at me as he does it, and I try to smile back, but I'm so exhausted, all I can do is gaze up at him. He has my mother's eyes, which instantly brings me back to when I saw her in the weapons lab. Was she really there? Was I hallucinating from the blood loss and thought I saw her? No. She was there. I know it. "I love you so much," Caleb tells me. "I love you, too, Caleb," I say, my voice raspy from all the screaming. "That's why I did it. I couldn't let you run in there and sacrifice your life just to seek forgiveness from me. You're too…" I stop midsentence, I find even talking to be tiring. Caleb nods at me, his eyes still shining with tears. "I'm so proud of you. And you know that you could let go…if you really have to." But I don't want to let go. I don't want to ever let go. I want to hold on to this for all eternity. Life is a precious thing, and you don't get many second chances. I've learned that. I can feel the drugs pulling me into unconsciousness. I finally smile at Caleb.

"I'm not letting go." I touch my hand to his cheek, surprised of how pale it is, all the color drained from it. "I'm not going anywhere."

My eyes close, and when they do, I see a dove. A silky white color spreading its wings, as if it's embracing the air it's going into. Beautiful. But I know that dove is a symbol of protection. A symbol of hope. I know that I'm going to make it out okay.

I believe it.

**End of Chapter 1! Yay! Just so you know, I've never been shot before, but I've heard its EXTREMLY PAINFUL, so I was trying to be as descriptive as possible! I am a HUGE fan of Divergent, by far the best trilogy I ever read! I can't wait for the movie (which comes out March 21****st****) I've seen the trailer at least 50 times! I hope they stay true to the book. Anyway, the main reason I wrote this fanfic was to ease my pain. The pain of Allegiant. For those of you who read it, you know what I'm saying. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**Chapter 2: I feel sick **

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _ The heart monitor sounds like music to my ears. It reminds me that I'm okay, that I'm alive. I am alive. My eyes peel open, my vision blurred at first, but then focusing quickly. I am in a different room then the last one I remember. The lighting is dim, and I am on a bed instead of a cot. My fingers stroke the soft linen sheets, which are pulled up to my upper chest. There is an IV hooked into my arm, and a cannula in my nostrils. I inspect my left arm, which is heavily bandaged and sore, but surprisingly, I am still able to move it. I try to sit up, but sharp bursts of pain explode in my stomach, and I flop back down, groaning. I am afraid to lift the sheets to inspect the damage that has been inflicted into my lower abdomen. But judging by how sore I am, and how each breath I take sends a sharp pain, it must be bad.

I start to collect my thoughts together. _I went into the weapons lab instead of Caleb, and made it past the death serum. But I ran into David, and he shot me twice as I set off the memory serum, forever erasing the memories of people who live in this shattered world, that was built on a lie. I have forever changed society. But I will not be remembered at all. _I think about the factions. Will they be restored? Or destroyed? I don't know which one I'm hoping for. A doctor walks into my room. I don't recognize him, but he doesn't look disoriented like the nurse, which makes me feel more comfortable. "Hello Ms. Prior. I'm Dr. Crane. You're probably wondering what's going on." "I know what's going on just fine. I was shot three times, once in the arm, and twice in the lower abdomen. And I know that I'm tired and sore and I want to get the hell out of here." I don't mean to snap at the doctor. I just feel so exhausted. "How long have I been out?" The doctor purses his lips. "About three days." _Three days! _I must be more tired than I thought. "You've had some visitors come by often. They wouldn't stop asking about you, so we switched you into a room with a viewing window." "Well, if they're my visitors they deserve to know what's going on." I respond. Dr. Crane nods. "They do." "Do you know any of their names? Of the people who've visited?" He nods again. "Christiana, Cara, your brother, Matthew…." He pauses. "Oh! Yes! And this one boy, Tobias, I think is name is, has been here ever since you got out of surgery. He spent the last two nights here, and those days. He just left early this morning. To get some sleep I suppose." _Tobias. _He was here. He came. And I wasn't here to see him. I wonder what I've done to him. He hasn't slept in days, constantly worrying about me. I wonder if he's angry with me. He must be. I promised, _I promised, _that I wouldn't throw myself into danger again. I feel sick to my stomach.

But this was not another Erudite Headquarters. No, it wasn't. I didn't do this as a suicide mission. I did it out of love for my brother. A sister's love is forever, I guess. If only I could've explained it to him when he came. _Oh Tobias. _Tears leap into my eyes. _I'm so sorry. _I blink them away, and turn to Dr. Crane. "Can you let him know that I'm all right?" I ask, my voice thick with emotion. "I will. But I came in here to see if you are feeling up to it, you have visitors waiting. I told them to wait in the lobby so I could ask you first. Only if you want-" "I'm all right" I cut him off. "Send them in"

Christiana is the first one to come in. "Tris!" she squeals racing to me. She wraps her arms around my neck, careful not to yank the cannula out of my nostrils. "Oh my gosh, we were so worried! You were out for so long! How do you feel?" I smile at her. "I'm fine," I tell her, "just a little sore." She raises her eyebrows "A little?" "Okay, a lot. Getting shot is painful!" She laughs, and when she does, I do too, and every inch of my body screams with pain. I wince, my hands tightening on the bed rail. "I'm glad you came" I say to her. Cara and Caleb appear behind her. They both embrace me, and Cara launches into how I saved all of society; I'm a hero. Only I don't feel like a hero. Right now I feel helpless. After an hour of chatting, I'm exhausted and can barely keep myself awake during conversations. Caleb must see it, because he says, "All right, you guys, we should go." Christiana and Cara nod. "Feel better, Tris, we'll come back tomorrow" they tell me. I thank them for coming, but Caleb lingers around my bed for a moment. "You guys go ahead, I'll catch up" he tells them. They nod, and exit.

Caleb pulls a chair over to the side of the bed and sits in it. He moves his hand over mine, and for a while, neither of us speak. His eyes fix on mine, and he strokes his thumb over my fingers. Something is bothering him. I can tell. "You saved my life" he finally says. He says it boldly, stern. I keep my eyes locked on his, searching for a response. Before I can say anything, he says, "I'm serious, Beatrice. If it weren't for you, I would be dead. But why did you do it in the first place?" His voice softens. "I betrayed you. I went against you and you _still _found enough love to take my place knowing that you might die yourself?" There are tears swimming in his eyes, and for once, I feel guilty for what I did. What I did for Caleb was to sacrifice myself to give him a chance to live. An act of selflessness. I am now realizing that it was also an act of selfishness. For starters, I broke my promise to Tobias. I made all my friends worried sick. But I know that I love my brother, no matter what he has done to me. The guilt disappears, and a smile creeps over my face. "Of course I did Caleb. Letting you die just because you let me down is selfish. Mom would not have liked that. I've learned to forgive." And I really have. And I'm proud I have. "I love you, Caleb." "I'm sorry, Beatrice. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I did to you," That's when he breaks down sobbing. I have only seen my brother cry a few times, but never like this. His face contorted, taking sharp exhales between sobs, his chest rapidly heaving up and down. Seeing him cry makes me want to burst into tears myself. But I don't. I just run my fingers through his hair, telling him that I'm all right, and that forgive him.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

I fall into a deep sleep sometime after Caleb leaves. I dream that I am standing alone in a place I'm unaware of. That's when Tobias emerges from somewhere I can't see. He stands a few yards away from me, just staring. He has a troubled look on his face, not coming any closer. I call his name, and beckon him towards me. He still remains standing where he is. I call his name again, and he starts disappearing. Into thin air, just like that. He is fading and I am screaming his name, screaming for him to come back to me. But he has completely vanished; and a new figure now stands in his place. Not a figure, but a person. David.

I wake up in a cold sweat, and my throat feels raw; I must've been screaming. Hot tears well up in the corners of my eyes, and I blink them away. But the urge to cry is still there, and I'm not sure if I even have the energy to fight it. Suddenly, I feel nauseous, and bile leaps into my mouth, and I throw up all over the sheets. The foul smell immediately swarms around me, and my hands tremble and I have to clutch the sheets to steady them. The heart monitor has increased in rate, due to my panic. I cup my hand over my mouth to stifle a sob. _I want him. _I want Tobias. I want him to fold me into his arms and press his soft lips to mine. I want to tell him that I'm sorry; I'm so sorry that I got myself into this, not only putting myself in pain, but him as well. I have made him worried beyond belief. Made him ache for days in fear that I may never wake up again. I broke him. _I broke him. _

Dr. Crane comes in and collects the soiled sheets and exchanges them for new ones. He told me that vomiting was a side effect of the pain medication that is being administered to me, and puts a vomiting bowl next to my bed. I stifle a groan as I sit up. The pain has subsided into a dull throb, but it is discomforting. I use the bed rail to push myself up. That's when I feel it. Or I notice it. I try to roll over, only to discover that I can't move any part of my body below the waist. I don't feel any pain there. I don't even feel numb. I feel nothing. My breaths come fast as I panic; struggling to move at all. "Dr. Crane!" I sound strangled as I yell for him. "Help-I can't move anything below my waist! What's happening?" I'm scared. _Maybe it's just another side effect from the pain medication. _Dr. Crane rushes to my side. "Tris, it's okay. Calm down, you're okay." I look up at him. His eyes are filled with concern, and he has a troubled looked on his face. "What's wrong?" I ask him. Dr. Crane lets out a deep breath and scratches the back of his neck. "Tris, this is not easy to say to you. But the one of the bullets caused severe damage to your spinal cord. Tris I'm sorry, but unfortunately you will be paralyzed from the waist down for life."

I don't know why this doesn't surprise me. I knew that I couldn't escape that easily from the choice I made without there being any consequences. I knew that I could not go unpunished for escaping death three times now. _But why? _Because in this cruel world we are living in, nobody is safe. I will now not have the ability to do something as simple as walk ever again. Instead of fear, anger swoops over me. I am angry at Dr. Crane, angry at David, angry at myself. I am now incapable of almost everything I know how to do. Before I know it I am fuming; and I cannot hold in my anger anymore. I punch Dr. Crane in the face. _Hard. _My knuckles burn with the impact, but I barely feel it over the adrenaline pumping through me. Dr. Crane stumbles back; his hands cupped over the lower half of his face so I cannot see the damage I inflicted. Two nurses appear through the door. One of them rushes to Dr. Crane's aid, while the other comes toward me a needle. I feel the sharp pain in my neck as she injects the syringe.

I try to throw a punch at her; but drowsiness overcomes me and my vision is blurry. My head slams against a pillow and I am submerged into complete darkness. But I am not afraid.

_I am selfish. I am brave. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Ugh, this chapter was strangely difficult to write. For some reason, I have trouble writing touching, heartfelt moments. And there are a lot of those moments in this chapter. Seriously, I don't know how Veronica Roth did it. I wish I had some of her talent and wisdom. So here's the third chapter! **

**Disclaimer****: I don't own anything. **

Chapter 3: Reunited

Colors swirl against my closed eyelids. I am gaining consciousness. I don't how long I've been out for, but when I open my eyes, it is dark, and the lights are out. I sigh, and turn myself up on my back, so that I'm staring at the ceiling. Thoughts buzz through my head.

_I will be paralyzed for life. _

I am no longer Tris the Dauntless who is able to jump off trains and run freely. I am Tris who is crippled, unable to jump off trains, run or even walk freely again. I am hoping that this is all some terrifying nightmare, and when I wake, I will be safe and unharmed. I will be with Tobias, like I should be.

I cannot get back to sleep. I don't feel tired, due to how much sleep I've gotten these last few days. So I think about Tobias. I want him here next to me, to help me through this. I can't do this by myself. I want his comfort, his warmth, his safety, his lips. I want him to tell me that we're okay and out of harm's way. That he loves me and that he's overwhelmed with joy that I'm not dead, even though I should be.

I close my eyes, hoping to be pulled into drowsiness, but I hear voices out in the hallway.

"She's sleeping now, but she was awake for most of the day."

Dr. Crane.

"I need to see her. I don't care if she's sleeping, I'm going in."

Tobias.

"Oh, please don't disturb her. She's had a lot to deal with today" Dr. Crane says.

Silence. I wait for Tobias to respond.

"You told her."

"Yes."

"You're an idiot. You should have let me tell her. You're one of the last people she wants to hear it from," Tobias hisses.

I hear heavy footsteps coming towards my door. I open my eyes, to see the knob twisting. A figure strolls in and comes to my bedside. Even in the darkness I can see his blue irises glistening. Our eyes meet, and for a few moments, we are both silent. His hair is greasy, and tousled. His face is aged with exhaustion. Dark bags have collected under his eyes and the creases on his forehead have turned into rough, cracked skin.

And I caused him to be this way. _I caused his pain. _

Knowing that I'm the one who caused it makes me feel as if someone is stirring my insides with a fork.

He touches a warm hand to my forehead.

"Tris" he whispers.

I don't say anything. I want to say something to him, but I can't find the words. Every time I open my mouth, a bitter taste fills into it.

"I'm sorry" I croak.

When he doesn't say anything, I keep talking.

"Tobias, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I almost got myself killed, _again, _and I know I promised and…" Suddenly it is all too much. Tears spring into my eyes, a sob racks my body, and I clamp a hand over my mouth to stifle it. I squeeze my eyes shut, and I feel warm, strong arms wrap around me, and the scent of detergent and sweat fills my nostrils. I feel his breath against my ear. I grab a fistful of his shirt, and gather it in my palm. I sob into his chest as he runs his hand over my hair.

My tears eventually stop, and I pull myself away from Tobias, leaving his shirt drenched. I wipe my eyes. "Just…I'm sorry, okay," I sniffle. I sigh. "I don't mean to be such a mess."

Tobias takes my chin in his hand, and pulls up so I'm looking into his eyes. "You love your brother, I get that. And you forgive him. It's just that…" he pauses, and turns away from me, scratching the back of his neck. He walks toward the wall and stops when he is just arm lengths away from it.

"I'll never understand self -sacrifice" He finally says, still facing the wall.

I am silent. "I never loved someone so much that I was willing to die for them. In Erudite headquarters, I came on a mission, not sacrificing myself for you."

He turns around, and comes back to my bedside. I feel his warm soft lips against my forehead. "I love you more than anything though." He whispers into my hair. "I was so scared, Tris. I had never been so scared in my life. I didn't know what to do." His voice is now shaky, and when I crane my head to look up at him, I see tears streaming down his face. I have never seen Tobias cry before. I saw him tear up after I broke him out of the simulation when the attack on Abnegation was occurring. But I have never seen him cry like this. The sight of it makes me want to cry all over again. These last few days must have been torturous for him.

"I'm sorry" I repeat. "Sorry, sorry, sorry…" I mumble into his chest over and over as he sobs quietly into my hair. He squeezes me tighter, and when he does, a prickle of pain creeps up my abdomen, and I tense and clench my teeth together to keep from crying out. He notices, and pulls away immediately.

"Sorry," he mutters wiping his eyes.

"It's fine. Just sore," I assure him.

Tobias has a look of hurt and guilt on his face when his eyes finally lock with mine. "Do you need more pain medication?" he asks. "I'm fine" I tell him.

He stands up and takes a few steps away from the bed. "I should go." He says. He heads toward the door. But I don't want him to go. "Tobias" I say. "Will you lie down with me?"

He looks back at me, and stares, a hard stern look on his face. "Yes" he says. He comes back, and I shift over to give him more room, careful not to rip the cannula from my nostrils or the IV from my arm. He lifts up the sheets, and climbs in next to me. I feel his warm breath against my forehead, and I run my fingers through his hair. Our foreheads are now touching, our eyes closed, as we kiss passionately.

And for a few moments, he is all I'm aware of. Our lips touching sends warmth through my body, and I sigh his name into his neck. I want to forget everything. I want to forget about the war, and the pain, and the violence and all the deaths of my loved ones. But I know that I will never forget. That neither of us will. The terrifying flashbacks will be forever locked into our minds.

Eventually, we stop kissing. We lie flat on our backs breathing in the cool air that surrounds us. Tobias drapes his arm around me, and pulls me closer to him so that my head is on his chest. I can feel his steady heartbeat in my ears.

"I love you, Tris." He whispers before drifting off.

For a few moments I lie awake, relieved and happy that I finally have him next to me again. Like I should be. It is in that moment that I realize if we are going to maintain a healthy honest relationship, I can't leave him. I can't ever put him through this agony he's had to go through on his own again. I love him.

I smile and close my eyes.

"I'll never leave you Tobias. I'll always be here. I promise."

**Yayy Tris and Tobias are finally reunited! You guys have no idea how hard this was to write. Touching scenes are hard to detail. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it Chapter 4 coming soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First off, I'd like to thank the following users: Katecherrypie, FactionMixer, and MimicPlus for the excellent reviews! Good reviews mean so much to me, and I really appreciate them, and I'm so glad that you all love my story! Second, some of you may hate this chapter because it is very emotional. I suggest having a box of tissues nearby! Be brave! **

**Disclaimer****: I don't own anything. **

Chapter 4: Uriah

"So those who were affected by the memory serum were told that human nature is complex, all our genes are different, but neither damaged nor pure. But they were also told the lie. Their memories were erased in a freak accident, and that they were on the verge of lobbying the government for equality for GDs."

I nod as Tobias fills me in on what's happened in the last few days. But the truth is, I don't want to talk about it. Or think about it. I just want to forget about this whole thing completely and move on to a world of safety with him. But I know that I can't forget. I see and relive it almost every night. It's late afternoon, and Tobias and I have spent the day sitting on my hospital bed, talking, dozing off a couple of times, and yes- kissing. I can feel myself recovering a little more each day, and today I feel the best I have all week. It won't be long until I could get out.

"Where are you going to go?" I ask Tobias. "I mean, where are going to live?"

He sighs, and folds his hands in his lap. "I really haven't thought about it that much. I guess I was waiting for you to wake up so we could talk about it together." Tobias reaches for my hand. "What about you?" I really haven't thought about myself either. Who knows how long it could take to repair the new Chicago. But I'd like to live close to the place where I grew up. It makes me feel safe and surrounds me with warm memories. My mother smiling as she trims my hair. My father kissing me goodnight. Caleb humming to himself as he clears the kitchen table. I know that the factions are no longer going to exist, but I'd still like to feel that they are a part of me. They have always been a part of me.

"I want to go back to the city" I admit bravely.

Tobias puts his arm over my shoulders, and pulls me into him. "I think we can arrange that" he says. "But I don't think I can live anywhere near my old homes." Oh, that's right. I should've known. Of course Tobias wouldn't want to live near the place that haunts his nightmares to this day. I know that all he must see every time he looks at the gray houses on a quiet Abnegation street is his father slamming his mother into walls and feels the sharp sting of a belt hitting his flesh.

I sigh, and rest my head against his shoulder. "I don't want to live anywhere far from you" I say.

He looks down at me.

"I need you" I tell him.

I kiss him firmly, and he kisses me back, and slips his hands over my hips.

I am about to kiss him harder when Christiana bursts in. Her eyes are red and swollen, and her face is wet and tainted with tears.

"It's time," she says. "They're unplugging him."

My heart plummets. I almost forgot about Uriah's coma. I knew that he wasn't coming out of it, and it would be the smarter choice to just let him go. But now that it's actually time, I'm no longer sure.

Tobias sighs, and looks at the floor. "I'll go get a wheelchair for you," he barely whispers, as he pushes himself up from the bed.

I bite my lip and think of Uriah. His striking handsome features, his warm brown eyes and skin tone and jet black hair. And his bright smile. I will never again see his smile. Christiana pulls a chair over and sits next to me. She has never looked so exhausted and her eyes have never looked so empty. "I know that you guys spent a lot of time together," I say. "I know he meant a lot to you. I'm sorry"

Christiana looks at me. "I'm sorry, too. I know that you knew him longer than I did." Her gaze drifts to the floor, and for a while she says nothing and an eerie silence lies between us. "I thought that I was going to lose two of my best friends" she says finally, her voice cracking. "I thought I would never see you again either, Tris. We were all so scared."

A bitter taste fills my mouth as guilt saws through me. I still blame myself for putting not just Tobias, but all of the other people who care about me through that. "I know Christiana. But remember I promised, you'll never lose me." Christiana looks up at me, tears gleaming in her eyes. I smile, and reach my hand across the bed and clasp her fingers in my palm. "Never"

A few moments later, Tobias strides in with a wheelchair. Him and Christiana help me sit up and a nurse comes in and unhooks the IV tube from my arm. I have become so dependent on it these last few days that I feel dizzy the second it is removed, but quickly recover. Tobias slips his arms under my legs, which are useless, and lifts me up and carefully places me into the wheelchair. The room is spinning like a top now, and it feels uncomfortable in a new position as I try to ease into it. My arm and abdomen are throbbing, but it's not a painful throb like it was days before. "Hold on," I tell them. "I'm just going to get a little washed up." I use my good arm to wheel myself into the small bathroom. I look in the mirror, and a girl stares back at me. Her hair is knotted and unwashed. Her eyes are sunken and hollow. There are dark bags sagging from the corners of her eyes. And she is slumped uncomfortably in a wheelchair. I can't believe that girl is me.

After I wash my face and hair under the sink faucet, I wheel myself out to Tobias and Christiana. Tobias presses his hands on the wheelchair handles to get me moving, and Christiana follows us out of the room. "His family is here?" I ask Tobias as we go down the hallway.

"Yes, they haven't left his side since they came" he tells me. I nod, as a blanket of grief settles over me. I am really going to miss my friend. I close my eyes and see his comforting smile as I was strapped into my harness the first time we went zip lining. I push the memory aside and blink back tears.

When we reach the end of the hall, Evelyn and Cara are standing outside Uriah's room. I look through the observation window. Uriah's mother, Hana, and Zeke are standing on either side of the bed, holding one of his hands. I see a doctor standing by the heart monitor. David is sitting in his wheelchair right next to him. Hot anger courses through my veins. I want to hate David for all of the terrible things he has done. I can still hear his words he said to me about my mother in the weapons lab a few days ago: _She was a foolish woman who didn't understand making sacrifices for the greater good, and it killed her! _I cringe at the thought.

But part of me does not want to hate David. He is not the same person he once was. He is lost in his own mind, his memories forever erased. He doesn't remember my mother. He doesn't remember the experiment. He doesn't remember that he's the leader of the Bureau. He doesn't remember shooting me. Perhaps it's better that way.

"What's _he _doing here?" Tobias says, his voice strained.

"He is still technically the leader of the Bureau" Cara says.

"Are they going to replace him?" I ask.

"Eventually" Cara says.

Tobias tenses, and his hands curl into fists. He is obviously angered by David's presence. David signs a clipboard and wheels himself out of the room. When he does, Tobias gives him a cold stare, and I reach for his hand to stop him from lunging at him. "Tobias, don't" I warn. Tobias moves his gaze to our hands, and keeps it there.

"Guys, they're doing it" Christiana says.

I look through the window and see the doctor nod at Hana and Zeke. He flips some switches on the heart monitor, and I watch as Uriah's chest rises and falls, slowing down by the second. Zeke has let go of his hand, but Hana's is still holding on tight, unable to let him go. Tobias's grip on my hand tightens, and I squeeze back as we watch our friend slip away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer****: I don't own anything **

Chapter 5: You and Me

For the next couple of days, I'm in and out of bed at the hospital. Tobias stays with me, holding back my hair every time I vomit, helping me out of bed and into my wheelchair, and bringing me meals. Most of the time, we just talk. We talk about ourselves. I especially love these conversations because I can't remember the last time Tobias and I talked about something besides war, or the bureau or the factions. It's pointless. We are okay, we are safe, we are okay.

One morning, Dr. Crane bursts in bubbling with excitement. "Good news, Tris! I think it's finally time to remove the cast from your arm!" Tobias strokes my hair as Dr. Crane carefully removes the bandages from my arm. I am almost afraid to inspect the damage. But when I look down, there is just a narrow line of stiches. Some of the skin surrounding it is a shade of dark purple and badly bruised, but I barely feel it. Dr. Crane smothers some healing salve on top of the stiches, and warns me not to move my arm around too much to avoid ripping the stiches. I ask him when I could go home, and he tells me hopefully tomorrow or the day after that at the latest. But it'll be wheelchairs from then on out.

It's when he leaves that I realize that there is no home to go to. I don't want to go back to the Bureau. But I'm assuming I have no choice. I sigh and turn to Tobias. "The only good thing about being in the hospital for so long is that we're finally alone," I say. "Most of the time." He chuckles, and kisses my forehead, in between my eyebrows. "I really hate it here," I say, "I mean, I know that the doctors are sincerely trying to help me and make me comfortable, but I think that they could've done a little more to save me from paralysis."

"At least they saved your life. I thought I would lose you forever" Tobias says.

He's right. They did save my life. They saved Tobias from a long road of grief and devastation.

"You're right" I tell him. "I'm sorry, that was selfish."

Tobias looks at me for a long time. "I know" he says, barely above a whisper.

Neither of us has anything to say after that. So we just gaze up at the ceiling and into nothingness.

The next morning, I trade my hospital gown for decent clothing, and get comfortable in my wheelchair while Tobias brushes my hair, which has grown just below my shoulders like it was before. Dr. Crane comes in, and hands me a small plastic bottle of pain killers. I thank him, and Tobias pushes me in my wheelchair out of the room.

When we are outside, a wisp of cold, crisp air brushes against my cheek. A blanket of snow has covered the ground. I shiver, and Tobias hands me my jacket, and helps me guide my arms through the sleeves. Despite the cold, the sight is breath taking. The sun reflects on the snow, making it dazzle with sparkles.

"It's beautiful" I say.

"It is" Tobias agrees. "Come on, let's back to the dorms."

When we enter the Bureau, everyone walking through the hallways is still dazed from the memory serum. They walk unsteady on their feet, lost and disoriented. When we approach the stone sculpture, I notice that the water is no longer a drop. It is a gushing wave threatening to spill over the tank.

When we enter the dorms, Christiana is kneeling down on her cot, Cara is reading a textbook, and Caleb is lying down with his hands over his eyes. All of them come to greet me, telling me that they've missed me and asking me how I'm feeling. Cara tells me that Chicago has been turned into a metropolitan area, like Milwaukee, and that people from the fringe, or any other outsiders were allowed to move in. The Bureau will keep order of the city limits.

Which means no more factions. No more being categorized into groups that will determine who you truly are. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to feel like I'm dauntless. But I know that deep inside, I will not be dauntless or abnegation or genetically pure.

I am Divergent.

The next morning, when I rouse from a peaceful slumber, Tobias is sitting on the edge of my cot, tying his shoe laces. "Good morning," I sigh.

"Good morning" he replies.

"Why are you up so early?" I ask him.

"Because," he says, "I have something to show you."

Once I'm in my wheelchair and dressed, Tobias takes me outside of the Bureau, where there is a red pickup truck parked in the front. He lifts me up into the passenger seat, and loads my wheelchair in the back. He gets back in the truck, and starts driving. He drives over the railroad tracks, and I know that we are headed towards the city. We go through the abandoned fields that connect the city from outside of the fence, and eventually, we end up just north of the river. There are a few small buildings connected to each other, but they seem to be abandoned. They are a light gray, much like the abnegation homes. Some of them don't even have windows. Tobias pulls up in front of one of the buildings, and we get out.

I wheel myself across the narrow strip of pavement which leads into the building. The hallway is vacant, and it smells of polished wood. Light bulbs dangle from thin cords on the ceiling, and flicker as we go past them. Tobias leads me down to the end of the hall, and stops in front of a door. He reaches in his pocket, pulls out keys, and uses them to open the door.

Inside is an empty room with a long foyer. Tobias wheels me down it, revealing a kitchen on the left side, and a small living room on the right. There is no furniture, and the walls are bare, but it looks roomy. At the end of the hall, there's a single bedroom with a bathroom connected to it.

"It's not much," Tobias says. "But it's comfortable."

All I do is stare down the hall, and at the bedroom.

"It's perfect" I say. "You're going to live here?"

"Well, actually," he starts, "We're going to live here."

He takes my hands in his, and I gaze into his deep blue eyes. Suddenly, I feel it all at once. Overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness and relief. Tears spring into my eyes, and all I want to do is leap into his arms and kiss him for the rest of my life.

"Oh, Tobias" I say. He bends over and wraps his arms around me, and I bury my face into his shirt, saying "thank you" over and over. And it feels like I'm standing in that atrium again, when I was aware of everything about him, about _us, _at once. It feels like love.

"Here's our chance," he whispers, stroking his fingers over my cheek, "to start a new life together."

"Absolutely" I tell him. He presses his moth to mine, and I run my fingers through his hair, absorbed by him and all I can think about is how nothing else matters.

It is love.

**End of Chapter 5! Do you guys think that my chapters are too short? I try to make them as long and detailed as I can, honestly. But if you think that they're too short, leave me a comment, and I'll try to make them longer! Be Brave! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer****: I don't own anything. **

Chapter 6: Forgiving is Hard to Do

Tobias tells me that we can move into the apartment in two weeks. He's been there every day since he showed me, repairing it, I guess. He goes early in the morning, and doesn't come back until late afternoon. I've been kind of lonely without him, even though I have my other friends to keep me company. I mostly just wheel around the Bureau, watching all the people recover from the memory serum. Sometimes I find myself outside of the control room, my eyes scanning the surveillance cameras which are recording the city. Not much happens anymore, or, not as much as it used to.

I'm also in and out of the doctor, getting stiches removed, getting new bandages put on and getting x-rayed. I'm getting used to having no use of my legs. Though, it makes me feel helpless and weak. My back is constantly cramping due to all the sitting I've been doing. But it could be worse. I could be rotting in the morgue.

One morning, I'm aimlessly wheeling around the hallways, unaware on exactly where I'm going, when I see Zeke. My stomach twists. I haven't seen him since I saw Uriah being unplugged. Uriah…

He leans against the wall, his back facing me. His head is hung low, and the smell of alcohol surrounds me. I gag, but he doesn't notice.

"Hey, Zeke"

He turns, slowly, and smiles when he sees me. But it's not one of the warm, full of life smiles he used to give me when he saw me. This smile is forced, being pulled down by the heaviness of grief, which is imprinted on his face, with his puffy red eyes and wet cheeks.

"Hey, Tris," he mumbles, "how are you feeling? I heard you were shot."

"I'm doing well" I tell him. I wheel myself closer to him.

"Shauna's here. I don't know where she is now, but I'll tell her that I saw you. She wants to talk to you."

"About what?" I ask.

"I think she wants to see how you're doing. She knows exactly what you're going through."

Oh, right. Shauna was paralyzed over the summer, when she was shot in the back. I can still hear her shriek of pain ringing through the air.

For a while, Zeke and I are both quiet. I'm sure he's thinking of his brother, as I'm thinking of my friend.

"How are you doing, Zeke? And don't tell me that you're fine."

Zeke looks up at me. His eyes look more like dark; empty pits then warm, brown orbs. He shakes his head.

"How much longer is it going to hurt like this, Tris?" he finally says.

I stare at him in silence.

"I'm trying to move on, because I know that's what he would've wanted me to do, but…I just can't stop thinking about him. He was too young, too young to go the way he did. He was more than my little brother, he was…" And then, Zeke breaks down. He makes choked, heavy sobbing sounds, and crumples to the ground, his shoulders shaking.

I wheel myself over to him, and I want to go down and embrace him, but I can't. So I just look down at him, my eyes watering up. I clench my teeth, and force the tears back inside.

"Zeke" I say, "It's only been a week since you lost him. You can't expect the pain and grief to just disappear. Truthfully, I don't think it will ever completely disappear. You'll always have a place for him inside you."

His sobs quiet, and he looks at me, sympathetically. He gets up, and wraps his arms around my shoulders.

"I know exactly how you feel. I know what it's like to lose a close family member. I know how hard it is, and how on some days it's so painful, you feel like dying yourself." _I know it all too well, _I think. "But you'll get through it, I promise."

Zeke eventually pulls away, his face still plastered with emotion.

"Yeah?" he asks me, his breath thick with alcohol.

"Of course" I tell him.

He sniffles, and wipes his eyes. "And I also know how much you miss Uriah. Because I miss him, too." I say.

"Don't we all" he says.

I smile. "And you shouldn't solve your problems by drinking" I say, yanking the dark bottle of his hand.

He laughs, and stands up. "Thanks, Tris. I'll see you around."

He turns, and starts down the hallway. "Oh, wait, Zeke!" I call after him. He turns back at me.

"Have you talked to Tobias lately?"

He looks at the ground. "Why should I?" he says.

I frown, and wheel myself back over to him.

"Because" I start, "he's really sorry that he participated in the plan, he didn't intentionally mean for Uriah to get hurt, and he didn't mean for you to get hurt, either." I touch Zeke's shoulder. "He's also your best friend."

Silence.

I sigh. "Forgiving is hard to do" I tell him. "I know that. But if you don't forgive him, you'll miss getting to know the new him. The one that won't jump into any plans that will involve hurting someone he cares about. He knows he made a huge mistake, and all he wants from you is forgiveness." I drop a hand on Zeke's other shoulder. "And it would make _me _very happy if you forgave him."

Zeke still remains silent, but holds his gaze into my eyes. Eventually, he walks away without saying anything, and all that's left to hear is low breeze through echoing through the empty halls.

That night, I'm getting ready for bed when Tobias walks in.

"Hey" he says planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Hi" I say. "How was your day?"

"Great. The furniture's in, and the walls are painted. And hopefully, it'll dry overnight, which means we can move in tomorrow, or the next day at the latest"

I look up at him. "Has it been two weeks already?"

"No, but it looks like I got done earlier than I thought."

A smile works its way across my lips, and my stomach flutters with excitement. "You're the best, you know that?"

He chuckles, and I pull him down, pressing my lips to his. "I love you" I tell him.

And I know that this is only the start of a new beginning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer****: I don't own anything. **

Chapter 7: New Beginnings

The next morning, when we enter the apartment, the smell of wet paint fills my nostrils, and I hold my breath to keep myself from gagging. The apartment itself is beautiful. There is a light brown couch, and a coffee table in the living room. In the kitchen, there is an oven with a stove, a sink, a refrigerator and a table with a couple of chairs. The walls are the color of the snow outside.

"There's hardly any furniture," he says, apologetically. "But if you want more, we can…"

"It's amazing" I cut him off. And it really is amazing. And knowing that he spent all week working on this for us makes it seem even more beautiful.

"Come on," he says pushing me down the hall in my wheelchair. "I want to show you the bedroom."

The bedroom is beautiful. It has a king size bed with a black comforter, and white lace pillows propped up carefully. I wheel myself in closer, and gasp when I see the Dauntless seal painted on the wall opposite of the bed.

"Oh, Tobias, it's just wonderful." I say.

"I knew you'd like it" he says. "Just because there are no more factions, doesn't mean we still can't feel like dauntless." He smiles, and scratches the back of his head.

"I can't believe you did all this in just a week." I say.

"Well, I wanted to make it perfect for you. For us, actually." He kisses my neck, and I sigh into his shirt.

"Have I told you that I love you?" I say.

"Yes, multiple times," he says, smiling.

I smile back, and kiss him again, hard.

"I'm sorry it's nowhere near your old home, I know that you wanted to live close to the place where you grew up in" he says.

"Hey," I tell him. "I'm with you, and that's all that matters."

In the days that follow, Tobias and I never leave the apartment. We just spend our time talking and kissing. One morning, we're lying together in bed, my head on his chest, as my fingers brush over his bare skin. He has one arm folded behind his head, and the other draped over my neck and shoulders.

"Tobias" I say, "these past few days have been some of the best in my life. I forgot how peaceful life can be when there's no war to fight or a revolution to stop."

"Oh, yes" he says. "Very peaceful"

Even though I love the quiet, normal routine we've been doing these last few days just like we used to do in Abnegation, I miss hearing the rush of water by the chasm and the blaring train horn as it roars through the tracks. From the moment I ventured outside the fence, I felt as if I had lost a part of myself that I could never get back. Because I knew that it would always belong to the factions.

One morning, while Tobias is cooking breakfast, he says, "We should do something today."

"Like what?" I ask, wheeling myself over to the table.

For a few moments, he is quiet, as if he is lost in his own world.

"I want to give zip lining a try" he says. He says it bravely, boldly, like he really is determined to do it.

I stare at him. "Well," I start, "I think that would be great for you to finally try it. Maybe once you've done it, heights will be eliminated from your fear landscape."

He nods. "Maybe. But I've been thinking about it a lot. After everything that's happened this past month, I've realized that life's a fragile thing, and how many times can you get a second chance after you've nearly lost it."

His words burn into my mind. He's right. Maybe I should try to overcome some of my fears to erase them from my landscape. A laugh bubbles inside me as I think of simulation Tobias kissing my neck in my fear landscape.

I sigh. "All right" I say. "We'll go after lunch."

I bury my hands in my pockets as a rush of wind roars past me. Fog rolls through the tops of the crumbled buildings, turning the sky as white as the snow on the ground. I watch from my wheelchair on the ground, gazing up at the Hancock Building, stretching into the sky, touching the clouds. I can't see Tobias from here, but I will see him when he's a good fifty yards away from us, as he soars through on the sling attached to the steel cables. My hands ball into fists as I anxiously await his arrival.

I would've gone up with him, but paralysis has me grounded. _I should've gone up with him, _I think, feeling a twinge of guilt. _Just in case something went wrong. _I take a deep breath, and push the thought from my mind. _No. _My stomach twists painfully. _Nothing will go wrong. _I breathe through my nose as the knot inside me slowly unravels.

Christiana grips the handles of my wheelchair.

"So he's really doing this?" she says.

"Yeah" I tell her.

"Do you think he'll cry?"

"Four? Absolutely not" Cara says from behind me.

Christiana chuckles, and I smile, and let it stay there. I think of Tobias standing at the ledge if the building, probably being devoured by fear. I close my eyes. _You can do it, _I think.

All of a sudden I hear the sound of metal sliding against the steel cable above me.

"Oh!" Christiana says. "Here he comes!"

In the distance, a see a black speck. Barely visible at first, but quickly surging towards us by the second. Everyone around me claps and cheers and pumps their fists in the air. But all I can do is watch. Watch as he hurtles towards us, with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open. Eventually the speck becomes a dot, which becomes a figure, which becomes a person.

Tobias is gripping the sling, and even from here I can see his hands are a sickly white. I look down at my own, discovering that they are the same shade. His face is red, and his eyes are squinting against the wind that is rushing over him. And soon, he is right above us. I can hear him panting, and see his chest rising and falling quickly. Everyone crowds below him, and holds out their arms as he unstraps himself from the sling. I wheel myself over to the rest of them just as he falls into the cluster of hands. As soon as his feet touch the ground, I wrap my arms around him. I can feel his rapid heartbeat against my forehead, and feel his hands shaking violently against my back. But he has a wide grin spreading over his face.

"You did it," I whisper. "I'm so proud of you."

"No," he says, "We did it."

**OMG guys, sorry it took me soooo long to update. I had a bunch of tests, then I went on vacation, and it's just been crazy! It won't happen again. Now that its only 17 days until DIVERGENT (shriek) I'll be on a lot more! I really appreciate the good reviews, keep 'em comin! **

**Oh and don't forget to check out a really good friend of mine's account, ****awsomelydivergent, ****her stories are AMAZING! **


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